Phew, what a crazy few days! I’m finally getting to sit on my couch for what feels like the first time all week. I can’t even remember what happened at the beginning of the week. Probably a lot of floor scraping, because I’m removing the paint I had tried to put over the tile in my kitchen. Luckily it comes up easily with a floor stripper I got but it is still time consuming because the chemical has to sit for hours and then it all has to be scraped off by hand. Then if any areas weren’t saturated enough to peel up easily it has to be reapplied on those spots, and the process repeated. Once it’s all up, which I’ve been doing in sections, I’m applying mineral spirits which seem to work well for cleaning up any leftover residue. I’d say I’m maybe 1/3 of the way done but I’m happy with how it’s turning out. I liked the color I painted (dark grey), but it eventually got all scratched up and I’m going to sell my house at some point in the future so I decided to go back to the original white.

Wow this is going to be a pretty random post. This is maybe why I only write when things aren’t going well. Because otherwise you guys get a total jumble of unimportant stuff that’s going on in my life. Although to be honest I’d much rather have nothing I felt like I needed to write about than to be constantly tied to this blog just because things were bad. So maybe random is ok because maybe it means no drama or crisis is occurring. Things are fine. My job is temporary (why is it job that we always go to first as a way to describe who we are and what we’re doing?), my childcare schedule is temporary, my housing situation will change eventually, my relationships seem to be evolving, my view of my body is improving, my sense of who I am is changing, my self-esteem is in flux, my dreams and ideas are growing. I want to type the words I love myself as the next sentence. But I’m not quite ready to commit to that. I think I do though. If I ever get around to it I have a body image post floating in my mind that is important to me. Not sure if I’ll ever write it or not but it just has become so clear to me how much my view of my body impacts my view of who I am and how successful I am in so many other areas of my life. I lost a pound today? I’m a great mom! I gained half a pound since yesterday? I must be a terrible housekeeper. I overate on chips and salsa after 9:00 pm? I can’t possibly be any good at anything I attempt. I successfully skipped breakfast and lunch? I am an amazing person who can do almost anything! No joke, that’s how my mind functions. It is always about the body image. Sigh, it’s exhausting. But that’s another post for another time, maybe.

I’m afraid I’ve gone off on a tangent again. I don’t even remember why I began this post. I think mostly it was because I like to write. And because I finally had a moment to sit down for more than a few minutes at a time. But it is hard to come up with things to say when there isn’t something really important that I just have to get out. And so the rambling continues. My days have been really good. I love to bake, my time with my kids has been great, even work is better now that I’m doing only Drive Up and Go (DUG) and no checkout, I’ve had some great times with friends, I’ve spent some quality time with myself, and I am trying hard to figure out the balance of life.

I guess that’s enough for now. I’m not going to tie anything together like I usually do. I’m just going to go to bed instead. Pajamas, teeth, water, meditate, pray, sleep. Good stuff.