If I was writing in my journal today, this is what it would say:

Today I feel fat, ugly, stupid and lazy. I’m a bad friend, mother, gym owner, and employee.

And despite getting great advice from many people numerous times, despite asking Cait almost every session for over a year, I still don’t remember what I’m supposed to do when I’m feeling this way.

I don’t see the point in continuing on if it just keeps coming back to this.

— end entry–

Sigh. I’ve been looking for triggers. Found a couple but knowing doesn’t seem to stop it from coming on.