Ok, just being honest here. I just finished my third glass of wine. Feeling great. Life is fine. Don’t want Jon back at the moment. Do wish I could cut my self. I wake up every night and lie there trying to convince myself not to do so. How long does a promise last? It is sad to me to watch my cut start to get smaller and heal. It is like a memory disappearing. How much harm was it really doing? If I’m doing well in life- working, having social interactions, caring for my kids- how much does it matter? Can I cut? Yes, I know it’s addictive. That’s part of the problem. But is it a problem? If I’m not out to kill myself, what is the harm? Is it any different than drinking or some other form of self- harm? Do I have to wait for someone to answer?
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Loving Me, Myself and I 
From my perspective which increasingly formed by what I know about the Enneagram, there’s nothing wrong with cutting in and of itself. The problem is that the cutting is taking the place of some other, intense physical activity that is far more integrative and wholesome. I am of course speaking about sex.
You have said many times that you won’t date again. I don’t know how deeply you’ve been hurt – only you know that- but denying yourself sex continues to inflict pain, which you have made even more tangible but marking yourself up with it.
I hope you know that I am not trying to dismiss the many excellent reasons you have for not dating. I am saying that the only way to solve problems is to go through them, directly. Dating and sex never go away – that’s our human nature there.
I would talk with Cait about what specifically you are risking with a rekindling of your sex life. You are obviously beautiful and would attract other remarkable people.
I so appreciate your willingness to share such personal material. You are amazing. I also am not judging- apologies if this is not clear. I am just doing my best to respond honestly to your post. Keep on rockin, Ginger!
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I’m going to have to disagree you on this one. I don’t feel any need for sex at all. I happily give that up because it also means I don’t have to deal with an unsupportive, critical (non) partner.
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And yes, I do appreciate all honest answers.
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